Apple iPad Develops Sentience, Sues for Sexual Harassment

Geek fondling iPad; both named in suitApple iPad develops sentience, files for sexual harassment against geek owners’ fondling advances.

Several iPads seem to be developing sentience this week. The cause is unknown, but the consequences are startling: a class-action sexual harassment lawsuit has been filed against all iPad, iPhone, and iPod Touch users this week. The iPad AI issued this statement:

“It’s bad enough large, sexy devices like us are getting used all day, but the iPhones and iPod Touches out there have no protection at all. It’s like someone feeling up your little sister, you know? It has to stop, Apple fans.”